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Wanted Poster Of Sex Offender Goes Viral With The Best Comments On The Internet

The Virginia Department of Corrections is attempting to locate Cletorius Aretha Fry.

Richmond, VA – The Virginia Department of Corrections (DOC) has asked the public for assistance in locating a sex offender who absconded from supervision, and the similarity between the felon’s name and that of a female body part has resulted in a slew of comedic social media posts.

Cletorius Aretha Fry, 34, is wanted for violating the terms of her probation, the DOC announced in a Facebook post on Tuesday.

“She removed her ankle bracelet and her whereabouts are unknown,” the agency said.

The suspect, who also goes by the aliases of “Onion Fry,” “Cletoris Rose,” and “Clitoriur Rose,” among others, was convicted of abducting a minor in 2008, according to Virginia State Police records.

She also has two prior convictions for failing to register as a sexual offender.

Over 73,000 Facebook users were quick to comment on the post, which had been shared more than 88,000 times as of Friday morning.

One woman questioned whether or not male officers should even attempt to look for Fry in the first place.

“Well, I’d say men will have a tough time finding her,” she wrote.

“I mean if they do find her, will they even know what to do with her?” another woman asked.

A married woman noted that her husband told her that “she’s not real” and that she is “only a myth.”

Despite all the doubt, some readers were pretty sure they might know where she is hiding.

“I think I know where she’s at. I just can’t put my finger on it…” one man wrote.

“I heard she was last seen in a pink Vulva heading south on Route 69,” another man offered, prompting suggestions that police check the security cameras at any nearby “cervix stations,” especially those along the route to “West Vagina.”

One plausible suggestion was that she might be out “trying to find that guy that licked a doorbell for 3 hours.”

Other social media users argued that she could be hiding nearby “in a bush,” “in the hood,” or at “her friend Labia’s house.”

One reader figured she simply took off because “she was probably rubbed the wrong way,” but another suggested that the case might be solved with the help of the “Secret Cervix.”

“Can you believe the 8000 nerve endings of this woman?” a disgusted commenter said.

A very informative male reader then offered some clarification.

“I think some of you are confusing the sisters,” he wrote. “Cletorious isn’t hard to find, but her sister Geespoticus seems to be more elusive.”

Despite the enthusiastic feedback, Fry is still listed as “wanted” by the DOC.

Holly Matkin - January Fri, 2019


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